He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
