absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
