Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
