need another drink. this is the easiest way
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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