ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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