I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
