WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
