I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
His hands were made for my vagina.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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