so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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