seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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