My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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