I want to make a zoo with you.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Another day, another engagement, another cat
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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