I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
