we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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