the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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