is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
