oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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