That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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