Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
