i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
