i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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