Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
