Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
