Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
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