if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
