Just cropdusted the office
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
