I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
