You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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