I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
