Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
