Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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