Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
This is the high leading the old right now
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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