it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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