So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I have aggressive nipples.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
