I want to stick my p in your. b.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
