i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
