My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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