her vagine was all disorganized.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
