Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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