that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
