Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
