I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
