I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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