So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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