Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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