The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
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