I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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