im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
