she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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