my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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