I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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